Not gonna lie, kind of forgot I had a blog. No matter, I'm back with something new to complain about; it's called "Ghosting". And no, I am not referring to the strange sex act that goes by the same name according to Urban Dictionary. I'm referring to the tendency exes have to haunt you like a god damn ghost. You know, when you've finally reached a point in your life where you've learned to live without them, and you either fill with rage or smile fondly at the thought of them, and then they call/facebook/text you out of nowhere? Like when you check your phone for the time and see you have a text, expecting it to be from a friend and then your heart skips a beat when you see it's actually your ex (who you thought had a new girlfriend) asking you to go for a drink? Why is this so common amongst men? Or rather, why is it OKAY when the guy does it, but when the girl does it she is desperate, pathetic, psychotic, creepy, etc?
Handling these things are an art. It takes much wit, manipulation, and preferably booze.
Here are some tips for handling your friendly ghost, assuming you're already drunk:
1. If you even decide to respond, your first text should be as aloof as possible.
2. Make sure you mention you're busy doing something really cool. Since he's in a semi-vulnerable situation, he'll do most of the talking in an attempt to egg you on.
3. Say something bitchy early on. Make it clear you're still feeling hostile towards him. Dudes love angry women.
4. Drink more.
5. Say something you instantly regret sending. Explain that you are drunk. This only makes you look cooler anyway.
6. Now you're on a roll, tell him you miss him. Follow up immediately with: "AS A FRIEND THO"
7. He might start to get sentimental at this point. If you're drunk enough, go with it.
8. If you can get to this point and he is still texting you more than you're texting him, just stop texting him, wait 'til the next day, and text him something related to something you are doing that makes you seem cool. Also, try to start a fight about something so he remembers you're feisty.
9. ABS: Always Be Sassy
10. If you do agree to get a drink with him DO NOT let him come back to your place after.
11. Realize that you're still attracted to him, revert back to state of mind you were in several months ago.
13. Find new love interest ASAP or kill self.
HAPPY HAUNTINGS, FRIENDS.
ABS hahaha but yes i agree with all of these steps especially number 4. i carried out a similar exercise recently but it was more of a like LEAVE ME ALONE WERE NOT GETTING BACK TOGETHER MOVE ON FOR FUCKS SAKE kind of thing.
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