We’ve both moved on since last seeing each other, but I never forget the time we shared together. I sit here against the dark marble that has been perpetually heated by the sun looking out at the granite history of my state; the university that has stood since 1886, representing the hopes and abilities of California.
It has all the makings of a perfect sunset: the light, yet noticeable transition from lilac purple on my left to the brassy shades of blue still kissed by the sun to the right. There are even the flossy salmon strings of clouds that resemble more of an unraveled cotton ball instead of the traditional lumpy pile of mashed potatoes; soft and vibrant all at once. And while I can look out at the awe of my home (post LAUSD), I know that none of this light can compare to your piercing sky as the winter sun sets.
Believe me when I say that I completely realize that our push and pull relationship wasn’t always hopeful. The constant guessing games of what you had in store for me were more than slightly annoying. Our ongoing fight of light or dark grey will continue to frustrate me even though I am several thousand miles away. (I do also admit that you always did win with the fatalist argument of “grey is grey is grey”.) But I always knew that you cared for me, even through these trying months, with the bursts of kindness you would shower me with.
Yes, you did shower me a lot (probably too much), but nothing reminded me why I was with you quite like those 4pm sunsets. The grey wet that had so consistently become the defining characteristic of you and I left for the brief moment of shining love. Emerging onto the Strand and knowing that you did have a soft side as you waited for my time inside to end was the best feeling in the world. The golden hues from light cream to a deep and startling orange showed me that you did care. It was always the greatest “I’m sorry” that I could get each afternoon. Enveloping my body in a warmth and dryness that I always forgot was capable. Even with these perfect moments, we knew that our relationship, our closeness couldn’t last. And while I agree that it was all for the best, the memories of you still make me smile because of the secret knowledge we now share about one another.
So you can keep your falling snow and open addiction to liquor, as I cling undyingly to my constant years of drought and smug control of the entertainment industry, but we both know the transformation that the past year made on both of us. I love my home, but the sunsets over Doe aren’t exactly worth the extra blocks walked to Charring Cross tube station just to experience yours for a few more moments before going under.
Always with love and admiration,
Bailey
